Benjamin was born this last week at 11:50 a.m. weighing 8 lbs. 6 oz. and 21 inches long. We went into the hospital at 7:00 and I they started the induction at about 7:45. I recieved an epidural right away so there was really no pain. I wasn't sure how long it would take since the last time I was induced it was with Hannah and it took 24 hours. Yuck! But she was my first and so we all know how the first goes.
I forgot how pregnancy really goes on for a good two weeks after you give birth. There is the recovery that your body goes through as well as relearning the nursing thing with the baby. I thought it would be easy after 4 others, but no it was not to be. Things are starting to get better and I hope by the end of the week I feel like running a marathon, ok maybe not a marthon, but at least going for a walk.
I am home alone right now, with Benjamin of course, but he is sleeping peacefully away. With church music playing softly it has given me time to reflect. It feels so bitter sweet. I had Hannah almost 10 years ago, but it seems like yesterday. When I was pregnant with Caroline it felt so weird, I had already had a child and now I was repeating it. Up until then everything in my life was kind of a one time deal. I graduated from high school, went on a mission, graduated from college, got married. All of those big moments in my life were one time deals. Now here I was doing the baby thing all over again. Now ten years later and I can't imagine being done and not doing the baby thing again. Is my life really moving on from this stage of life? It is time, I am feeling too old to be doing this, but it also feels sad.
I am not really expressing my feelings very well, but my heart feels full as well as breaking at the same time. Each child has brought so much to my life. I am excited to get to know Benjamin. The kids adore him and everyone wants to hold him. It took Joshua a couple of days to even look at him, but now he loves to point and say baby whenever he sees him. It completely rocked Josh's world, since I think he had no idea what was coming his way. The first time at the hospital he was scared and wouldn't even come sit by me, then he cried like crazy when it was time to leave. I felt like I was cheating on the little guy, off loving another baby when he was home crying for him mom.
Well we are now Three Girls and a Couple of Boys. Happy, healthy, sore, tired, overwhelmed, and grateful.
5 comments:
I thought you expressed yourself beautifully. I'm wiping away some tears, but that shouldn't surprise you :) Benjamin is gorgeous but I didn't expect anything less. You guys make such beautiful babies! I love, love, love his name. It fits right in with the other kids. Just got your email and had to quickly come take a look! Thanks SO much for the update. I'll be getting back to you soon :)
Oh, my goodness, yes tears for sure. He is beautiful and I'm so jealous you got to do this again! I can't wait to see who he is too - heck, I want to get to know Josh first!
OHHHHHHHHHH i love the name! there is something so special about benjamin's in the world. he is so SO SO so sweet! overwhelmed, no doubt but such a little blessing from heaven. were so happy for you!!
LOVES!
I know I saw photos and thought I commented but for some reason I don't see a post on here from me. Strange!!! He is absolutely beautiful. Love all that dark hair. Now that is something I never got to experience, a head full of dark hair! Can't wait to meet him in person. :) xo
He is so beautiful! I am now officially jealous--look at those cheeks!
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